That's right! One year ago today, I posted my FIRST LJ post! And I haven't posted one since.


So I just found out about 5 minutes ago that my beloved Muse IS NOT going to appear on the Eclipse soundtrack. 
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH *FACEPUNCH* WHAT KIND OF FUCKWITTERY IS THIS!? No Muse in a Twilight movie is like having No Rob or Kristen or Taylor or Peter or Ashley or Rachelle Bryce or ANYONE! They're like a part of the franchise! I had actually EXPECTED them to be on because David Slade is the director and he also directed a whole slew of their music videos. But someone at Summit Entertainment was being a big "non-creative" asshat and decided not to put them on. FAIL! 

In better news, the premiere for Rob's new movie Remember Me is TONIGHT! Why am I not in New York City now, you ask? Well I have a paper due for my Spanish class tomorrow. It's a review about Guillermo del Toro's Pan's Labyrinth. Never saw it before, so I'm scared. But I have Rob's interview on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon to look forward to tonight! 

OMG ROBERT(S) ARE BOTHERED!  I think I might want to run my fingers through Jimmy Fallon's  hair more than Rob's! No not really. 

Anyway, a little short post for now. I'd like to thank especially thank Gaby & Lucy today because I think if it weren't for LJ, I wouldn't have gotten close to you guys. I love y'all so much. Can't wait to see you in June! <333

BYEEE GUYSSS :D

I didn't put a title because there is absolutely nothing EPIC enough to describe this post.

Sorry for not posting in (Jesus) 6 weeks but I feel like this is something I MUST write about.

So after a year of fangirling over posters, awards, trailers, pictures, Taylor Lautner's abs, Italian RobCrack, & about a million other things....

NEW MOON IS FINALLY IN THEATERS!!!!!!

And I got to see it at 12:01 midnight with imprint90 , samiransom , Priscilla, & my savior Alanna (who almost killed us with her crazy ass driving because she was so desperate to get there early).

The theater was great, filled almost entirely with college kids and young adults. We saw girls with homemade T-Shirts ("Edward is a VILF"), sparkles in their hair, and - I'm not shitting you - an Edward look-a-like.

So I got my super special New Moon collector's cup! However, the sponsor is totally fail. What? They couldn't get the Lion's Den at the Bronx Zoo? Or Alpo? Because I don't know any vampires or werewolves that drink Vitamin Water. I was rather annoyed I had to buy a large soda just for the cup, but whatever I wanted it.

I totally Alice'd the Remember Me trailer which was released earlier in the day, and sure enough made an appearance with New Moon, as I had said for months. I am absolutely disgustingly excited for this movie. Rob is going to be a-freaking-mazing. I'm going to cry like a baby. (BTW, I friggin LOVE his New York accent at :36)

( This may hurt just a little.... )

Because it seems that I haven't posted regularly since....May. uggghhh. I'm really sorry you guys. I've been HIGHLY distracted for the past few months. But that's no excuse. I feel like I have failed in my twi-reporting/snark duties. That's one of the main reasons why I got this journal in the first place. To express myself in a humorous way. I'm glad that some of my readers on FF have added me. Holla at y'all! Wooty woooo.

Okay so today I woke up at 4 fucking 30 in the morning. Like my eyes just flew open from the deepest sleep of the dead. I had realised that yesterday I had completely bailed on my Ethics class. I literally said outloud to myself. "What. The. Fuck. I didn't go to class yesterday! Shittttt." And then I fell back asleep.....

7 AM: Alarm rings...and I press the snooze button every five minutes for half an hour. Then I wake up and get ready to go to school. I have a damn interview to work on campus at 9 AM. Unfortunately, I have to wait until 4 PM for my Vocal Class. FML. 

BUT YAY! MY MOM LETS ME DRIVE TO SCHOOL!! IN HER MERCEDES BENZ! SQUEEEE!!! *happy daaaance* Oh, btw, I'm licensed to drive now bitchesss. Vrooom. ;)

I got to school on time with a bit of nervous yelling from my mom. She thanked the heavens we made it alive. -_-

So, the interview: Given by  two seniors named Desiree & Courtney. They were very nice girls and seemed totally cool. They asked me a few tech questions that went something like this.

Desiree: Are your familiar with Microsoft Powerpoint?
Me: Oh yeah.
Desiree: Do you know how to print out several slides on one page?
Me: Uh-huh.
Desiree: Okay, could you take me through the steps on how to do that?
Me: O.o. Uuuuuhh.....

*crickets chirping*

FUCK! I can't explain shit like that, you guys. If I have a computer in front of me, I could do it in two seconds, no problem. I can't EXPLAIN how to do it exactly. Even if you put a gun to my head, you may as well pull the trigger because I'm dead. Every other quesiton I answered perfectly except for how to do this step by step. Shittt I hope I get hired. I need this job. I gotta buy my Halloween costume. I'm going to the parade in the Village and then Webster Hall for the after party! Cheeaahhh! It's like the Moulin Rouge of NYC. Hmm...maybe I should be a Can-Can Dancer instead....

Right now I'm in the school library, dicking around on a laptop while waiting for class to start in about....2 hours. *headdesk* AUGH!

GOOD NEWS FOR TWILIGHTERS! The Official New Moon Movie Companion is out TODAY! Whoooooo!!!! 20% off at Target, y'all! The soundtrack is out in a week! Cannot. Fucking. Wait!

Guys, I have withstood every crazy ass piece of merchandise that the Twilight saga has pumped out. From board games, to food, to shower curtains.

Hey, remember, the Littlest Vibrating Edward? This fucking eclipses it (no pun intended).

BEHOLD THE SPARKLECOCK!

Yes, it's a fucking Dazzle Dick. Now, EVERY twi crackheaded fan can recreate the Isle Esme scene without damaging their pillows or headboards.

JUST IN TIME FOR HALLOWEEN! Who doesn't love those dark and mysterious vamps on the screen and in the books we all thumb through lustfully? That's what we thought. For those of us who fantasize about being spellbound and tantalized by the forbidden comes The Vamp. We promise this vamp won't be the only thing coming for you in the night.

The Vamp is a realistic form dildo based appropriately on our Sire's design but with a deathly pale flesh tone reminiscent of the new moon's glow. Don't be surprised if this toy seduces you, its long sleek shaft and deliciously ridged head calling to you in the twilight. But don't save this for just nocturnal escapades, try taking our Vamp out in the sunlight and watch him sparkle.

The Vamp is a web only exclusive offering through TantusInc.com for $39.99. We are currently taking pre-orders for this one of a kind toy. We will be shipping them first come first serve starting 9/1/09. Don't let this eclipse pass into the breaking dawn, place your order today.

ALKFJKDLFJALKDJFKADJFAKLDFJAKJFAKLDJFAKDJFLAKJDFADJFKAJFLKADJFAL.

I'm going to go throw myself off a cliff now. No, really. NO I'M SRS!

THERE ARE NO WORDS!!* NONE!!! OMG!!

THE COLORS!

THE KISSING!!!

THE BEAUTIFUL FUCKING MAKEUP! (Check the back of Edward's neck! No make up line! AND HIS HANDS ARE PALE TOO!)

JACOB HAS BEEN BITTEN BY A SPIDER MONKEY MAN!

JAAAAAAAANEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

AND EDWARD'S POOR TORTURED FACE OMG!**

Victoria's*** hair has turned a lovely shade of Weasley. And she fucking walks in the air like Cedric did in the beginning of GoF when they take the Porkey! Ahahahaha!

Yo, my fucking heart CAN NOT TAKE IT!

96 DAYS LEFT!!!

It can't be close enough.

Glad to be back, LJ .









*there literally are no words. I watched this trailer without sound because I have no sound coming out my speakers. Woe.
**CRAZY ASS FANGIRLS! SEE WHAT YOU DO TO ROBERT!??!
***Rachelle, you shall be sorely missed. :( 

Oh my fuck, you guys.

What an insane, crappy ass month this has been. With the Internet-fail, I feel like I've been fucking wandering around aimlessly separate from the world.

OH HAY MICHAEL JACKSON DIED!!! Did I get to check the Internet to see if it was true!? NO!

My fucking television broke that day too so I didn't know JACK SHIT!!!

There was also some dramz surrounding the astonomical amount of text messages sent and received during the month of May. (Nearly 12,000. Thank you, Twitter.) So I shut off my mobile Twitter updates and I COULDN'T EVEN GET MY NEWS FROM THERE! I spent about two hours texting and calling a bajillion people asking if it was true. AND FARRAH FAWCETT!! AND ED McMAHON!!! AND BILLY MAYS DIED FOR GOD'S SAKE!!!! OH OXICLEAN GUY!!! He went the same way as Natasha Richardson, you know! Shit, if I get bumped on the head now, I'm running to the ER.

First of all, I'd like to thank Natalia, Samira, Priscilla, my Chi-town biffle Gaby, her brother Mathieu, and her friends, Kelly, Rosa, and Mandy for making my birthday one of the best I've ever had. (Even if it didn't go exactly as planned lol) I love you all. YES, YOU TOO PEOPLE I JUST MET! Me and Mat had a good time singing "Ring of Fire" in Starbucks. And playing "Screw, Marry, Kill" on the train. And taking about 1238238492743872439 trains to get....somewhere. Lmao. I shall never forget it. AND GABY THANK YOU FOR THE MOVIES I LOVE THEM! I still have the RPattz wrapping paper. Sometimes I just stare at it. :D 

Also-also: HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME!! fo shizzle mah nizzle. 


SO TODAY IS COMIC CON IN SAN DIEGO YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!

There was a pre-panel with Rob, KStew, and Tay Tay.


AND FINALLY! Go to the New Moon website! It's updated with MANY awesome stuffs. (Including a larger look at that lolarious picture of Madame Jasper wigging out. Yes I'm still bitching about his hair)

Man, I need a new icon for all this NM stuffs. :) OH LOOKIT AT THE NEW DEFAULT! WHOOP :D

 Hellooooooo LiveJournal! 


So...June is officially the worst month EVER in my history of posting on here. My internet is still very faulty. I'm posting from my sister's laptop. Huzzah for insecure connections. 

I wish I could remember everything I would normally talk to you guys about. 

Anywhoo...Gaby's coming to NYC next week. YAAAAAAAY x1000000!!!!! My birthday is next week as well!!!!! Whoop. 

EVERYONE I KNOW HAS SEEN ROBERT PATTINSON IN NEW YORK EXCEPT FOR ME!!! imprint90 , samiransom , and my biatch Alanna all saw him. Aaaaaahhh rawwrrr. 

I'm tired. That's I'm gna say for now. I'll take more time to write more later. 

And for all my FFn followers....I'm updating "Marked" ASAP!!! I promise. My beta(s) just has to edit it first. Lol

Yep, I'm still alive!

Why haven't I posted for...oh....10 days?? Well, my Internet has been completely fucked up because my mother's boyfriend decided to do some tinkering with the phone lines. Needless to say, she was pissed off. As for me, I was completely going bananas-ass apeshit without following all my Twilight news sites, Perez Hilton, Facebook, Fanfiction, my podcasts, and, of course, LiveJournal. So I have LOTS of exciting news to share!

First of all:

I MET JACKSON RATHBONE!!!!!!!

Well...not met...like...I didn't talk to him, but I was literally less than 5 feet away from him. I was inches from him, you guys. I saw him perform with his band 100 Monkeys. The band is A M A Z I N G!!! They put on a very good show. They had so much energy and charisma. They improvised many of their songs, asking the audience for topics to sing about, such as Magic Carpets, Chicken, and my favorite performance of the night, Cupcakes. It was a HUGE AMAZING JAM SESSION with the opening act Tin Tin Can, a fabulous band from Chicago. I looooveedddd Jackson singing "GIVE ME SWEETNESSSSAAAAHHHH" in a sexy growly voice. I know how I said last week that the MTV Movie Awards was the best night ever, but seriously, seeing 100 Monkeys kicks that shit to the curb. I also had a nice conversation with Catherine Hardwicke a middle aged woman who kept proclaiming throughout the night "THIS BAND IS THE FUCKING SHIT, MAN!" She was dressed like a 12 year old in a gothic Hello Kitty T-Shirt and squeeing about he possibility of Rob & Jackson singing together. This lady was a little nuts, but really fun and kinda adorable.

SPEAKING OF ROB: While eating pizza about an hour before the show was supposed to start, samiransom & imprint90 both got text updates from Twitter saying that Robert was in New York City with his boyfriend best friend Tom Sturridge after leaving to LA for a few days and returning. I don't think I've ever eaten ANYTHING so quickly in all my life. We, my biff Ariana, our friend Priscilla, and my cousin Alanna all fucking lost our shit thinking that Rob was most likely going to be at the show. Natually, he wasn't but we still all went insane when we saw Jackson. I was the first to spot him and I saw him out of my peripherals walking behind me to the little space off the side of the stage....he had a fake mustache omg.

....because I got laid the MTV Movie Awards were on!!! WHOOO I had a lil Movie Award party withimprint90,samiransom, my twinsie Ariana, and my cousin Carla. Nati cooked for us and proved to be a better host than I was even though it was my own house. We kept running back and forth from the kitchen to the living room so that we wouldn't miss any of the Red Carpet that was being shown between commercials and The Hills. I've never watched that show before and still hated it, but now I'm even more justified. The show was a-fucking-mazing. Andy Samburg should host every year. Lmao I have such a Jew crush on him. He was hilarious calling out "IF YOU PLAY EDWARD CULLEN THROW YOUR HANDS IN THE AAIRRRRRR!!!" and Rob's face totally looked like that icon I have:
The biiiig winner of the night was, you guessed it, TWILIGHT!!!!! It won four out of the five awards it was nominated for including:

Robert won for Best Breakthrough Performance - OH GOD I AWAIT THE PARODY VIDEOS THAT SHOW ROB SAYING "I think I have a little bit coming out of my pants right now" LMAO (:57)

Best Fight - CAM'S A TWO TIME BEST FIGHT WINNERRRR YEAAAAHHHH :D Lol @ Shia LaBeefcake messing up his name. And the entire fandom died all over again at Rob saying "Hello." (2:23)

Possibly my favorite moment of the entire evening was when Rob and KStew went up to receive the Best Kiss award. I loved how Ryan Reynolds gave the Award out especially since he was making out with Kristen in Adventurland. Lol. There are NO words to describe it. It was like watching them all over again in Twilight!!!! The looks on their faces were just great! Rob's mouth hanging all open at the end killed me. (Insanity starts at 4:00)

Kristen won for Best Breakthrough Female OMG AND THAT MOMENT when she dropped her Golden Popcorn on the stage REALLY proved to me that she IS Bella. Suck on that, haterrrrrrrrssssss. (LULZ at 6:05) Rob laughing was TOTES CUTEEEEEE

AND WE GOT BEST MOVIEEEEEEEEE!!!! EVERYONE WENT UP WHOOOO!!! CATHERINEEEEE WHOOOOOO YEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!! (7:04)

The only thing is we lost was Best Song. Somehow, we lost to Miley Cyrus' "The Climb." Somewhere, Jamie Cambell Bower is going "YESSSSSS!!"


OH MY GOD THE TRAILER!!!! NO WORDS JUST LOOK!!!
I LOOOVEEEE the golden glow that this trailer has. It's like they match the shade of the lettering for the movie title with the film itself. Like the lettering for Twilight was blue, so the movie had a bluish tinge to it. Now, New Moon has gold. Gah, let's not hope Eclipse is red or some shit. 

LOL @ ROSALIE'S BITCHFACE @ :34!!! 

OH GOOOODD EDWARD WALKING AWAY JUST BREAKS MY HEARTT!!!

WOW!! LAURENT LOOKS GREAT!! :D

JESUS HENRY ROOSEVELT CHRIST!!!!! JACOB FURSPLODED OUT OF HIS MOTHERFUCKING  PANTS!!!!!! ALKFJAKFJLAKJFLAJFALKFJADKDJF:A